I’ll be honest. For the first time in months (many of them) I am finding that I’m actually eager to have God time.
Do you remember, not that many posts ago, when I told you about my guilt-inducing lists? And how I realized that I set myself up for failure with too-high expectations of myself?
My pastor started a series on Spiritual Fitness recently, and with that series he created a workbook/calendar that is designed to help his church to develop and strengthen spiritual health. I won’t go into too many specifics, because the most significant part to me so far is that he broke up each day into 3 parts. A warm-up for the morning, a middle-of-the-day exercise, and a cool-down in the evening. It’s been perfect for my life as it is right now, with non-napping baby and tired eyes and my own spur-of-the-moment cat naps on the couch…
I can’t even tell you how excited I was to start on Monday! Me! A “non-list person,” excited to start a routine?? (Remember, though, I discovered that it’s not that I’m not a list person, I just had those way-high expectations).
After the first “warm up” I suddenly found myself thinking when do I get to go have time with God again? and after the first exercise started praying please just let the baby nap long enough for me to have this time with You. For the first time in I-don’t-remember-how-long I wanted to go meet with God… I didn’t just feel like I had to, or I should, or “that wasn’t enough time”.
It took me three days to actually find this verse that my heart was crying out. (Someone had read it at our small group weeks ago… I hadn’t imagined that it would actually be how I really felt any time soon).
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?
My heart is smiling. My soul is excited to meet with the Love Of My Life, to be courted by my Soul Lover, to date my Lord. To sit over coffee and pour my heart out to Him, invite Him to inspect it, turning it over in His hands and speak to me honestly and in love… and let Him take it all and my hand and gently remind me that He loves me even still.