Since our sweet boy has arrived God has been using new mommy-hood to teach me a lot of things.
How to trust Him.
That it is okay to accept help (and even ask for it – something that has always been hard for me to do).
That I don’t need to explain myself, the decisions that my husband and I make, or the situations God has put us in to everyone.
One thing that I am still in the process of learning, even just beginning to grasp, is to just let life be simple. This is hard for me to grasp because, well, I had been trying to make life simple. I’m realizing, at least in this situation and for me, that letting is very different from making.
I know. You are probably thinking “well duh. Making is proactive and letting is passive, of course they are different!” Or maybe not. Maybe you’re more like me… like this…
Before Eli was born, I started some changes that I believed would make life simpler. I tried organizing my time with a priority planner from Creative Counterpart by Linda Dillow. I made a bunch of freezer meals. I cooked more than we needed as often as I could and froze most of the leftovers. I started couponing. I did all sorts of things.
I LOVE doing all of these things! And they really do help. While I’m not actively using the priority planner at this time in my life, I believe that I think about each of my priorities in a healthier way now. Batch cooking is my new love, perhaps even a hobby! My freezer meals (while we haven’t had to use them everyday) got us through the rest of November, all of December, and I still have a couple loaves of bread and some soup left. Couponing is great and I feel as though even though I quit working and Eli has had some extra expenses that we didn’t expect, I am helping my husband in a small way by being wise (and trying to be smart and creative) about purchases.
However… sometimes my efforts to make life be simpler, trying to fit everything together perfectly how I think they should fit and when and where… all becomes so complicated that life is no longer simple, even though simple was what I was striving for!
Sometimes I don’t get to everything in my week that I “should” have. Sometimes I don’t even do things in the order-of-priorities that I thought I should. Sometimes the kitchen doesn’t get cleaned (or I don’t get a shower!) even though we have guests coming over, and sometimes the laundry doesn’t get folded for 2 weeks. Sometimes it’s impossible to cook (or do anything but hold my baby) until my husband gets home and then that crock pot recipe has to be put off ’til next week (or indefinitely). Sometimes couponing takes longer than actual shopping and I regret how I spent my day later…
This is where I am learning to let life be simple instead of making it so. I’m learning that at this time in our lives, I need to let Eli decide what we do for the day… and as I’m stuck to the couch with my baby boy who only wants to nap on me, I realize that here is exactly where I want to be. We might have Spaghettios for dinner, and we might have to wash a few bowls because I forgot to turn the dishwasher on, but instead of handing Eli to his daddy and then rushing around the kitchen trying to make the “perfect” meal in order to be the “perfect” wife… I get to actually be with my wonderful, amazing, selfless and patient husband and really be who I am supposed to be – his wife.